Anything Could Happen
by ForeverFlowering1219
Summary: Olivia had never thought that her chance to become a mother would come so late in life but now that it's happend she finds herself confused and drawn into the arms of some one else. What could come of their relationship? Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in L and O: SVU because if I did many of them would have gone gay years ago. Happy reading.:)
1. Chapter 1

Anything Could Happen

Olivia IS pregnant but Bryan is hardly ever there. What happens when she confides in Amanda for a little companionship?

The idea of children had been one that Olivia had learned to live without. She had tried adoptions, countless tests, home remedies... nothing so the moment she found out she was pregnant with her boyfriend, Bryan's, baby She was again forced to face the idea of motherhood. After leaving her therapists office, the particular news still fresh in her mind, she thought of only one person she wanted to talk to most; However, due to his current work situation Bryan would be undercover and therefore unreachable for months. She simply wondered around the city taking in the many sites that New York had to offer and imagining what it would be like to finally become a mother. She smiles to herself. Before long she notices the sky begin to darken and the sun disapear and once she realizes where she is she decides to stop in on her fellow work mate. She nocks quietly on the dark wood door of her detective's apartment and doesn't have to wait long before she is greeted by the ever radiant blonde.

"Liv?" She answers pulling her cardigen around her. "Is everything ok?" She asks in her thick southern drawl.

"Yeah everythings fine Rollins I was just in the neighborhood and I figured I'd stop by and say hi." Liv says giving her a small smile.

"Well come on in." Rollins says moving aside to let the brunette enter. "Sorry about the mess. I haven't really had much time to clean in the past week. You know with all that's been going on." The older detective, or should I say newly recruited sergeant nods in understanding. "Do you want a beer?" She asks gesturing her to sit.

"Actually I don't think that's a good idea." Olivia says nervously looking into her lap.

"Ok." Rollins answers suspiciously, sitting down next to the older brunette. "What's up?"

"Rollins I'm pregnant." She blurts. Amanda's eyes widen as she tries to think of what to say.

"Congratulations. Have you told Bryan?" She finally manages to reply. Olivia looks sadly into her eyes.

"He's been undercover for the past 3 weeks. I'v been trying to get ahold of him to tell him the news but he's been damn near unreachable."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Amanda says soothingly rubbing her shoulder. "It'll be ok."

"It's not that I ever thought it wouldn't be." Liv whispers as her eyes begin to water. "I just had gotten used to the idea that kids would never be in my future and now that it's finally happened I'm scared." She swipes quickly at her tears. "And to top it off Bryan is never home, I'm lucky if I get to see him twice a week with both of our schedules. I just dont want to do this on my own if I don't have to." She admits. "Before I had Elliot and he would have done anything to help but now..."

"Liv sweety that's not true." Rollins says rubbing her shoulder. "You have me and Fin and Amaro. We're here for you. Anything you need don't hesitate to ask." Olivia nods. With her biological clock ticking heavily in her ears she can only think of all the things that could go wrong.

"How about you stay with me tonight?" Rollins suggests. "I don't want you to be alone so you take the bed and I'll be out on the couch. That sound ok?" She asks gently.

"I wouldn't want to put you out." She responds easily.

"You wouldn't be." She smiles. "In fact Franny and I would love the company."

"Amanda are you sure?"

"Of course." She answers standing. "Now come on the bedroom is back this way and if you'd like to take a shower I think I have some sweats you can fit although the shirt may be a little tight." Olivia laughs. "See there's that gorgous smile I like to see." She says before turning on the light in her room and shooing Franny from the bed.

"Thanks for understanding." Olivia answers. kneeling and rubbing Franny behind the ears.

"No problem." She answers watching the brunette play with the canine. She takes in the thick curves and olive tone of the older and when she looks up to meet her eye she feels a dark blush creeping up her cheeks. She looks away in embarrassment and goes over to her drawer, removing something for Olivia to change into.

"I'll go change." Olivia says quietly standing and taking the offered clothes. They share a heated stare before Liv ducks into the bathroom. Once Rollins hears the shower start she lets out a relieved sigh.

"This is going to be hard." she whispers quietly to herself, following the dog into the living room. Amanda Rollins was a woman of many secrets. There were a lot of things about her life that she prefered to keep a secret, especially her sexual preferences. Sure there had been guys in her life the past few years and she had enjoyed what they had to offer but recently she had found herself drawn more into the direction of the older brunette since she began with the squad a few years back. Olivia had helped her through memories of her former boss and had even been there when everything happened with her sister, it was hard for her not to develop feelings. She doubted that Olivia knew of her feelings and she did the best she could not to show them but there had been close calls, she had been caught watching her in the squad room, been a little closer than appropriate, nothing serious though. She had been in shock seeing Olivia at her door earlier and when she shared her own feelings it made her feel much closer to the older woman.

"You ok?" She hears from the side if the room. When she looks over she is greeted by one of the most graciously beautiful creatures on God's green earth. Though she is in simply sweats and a slightly small t-shirt Amanda can't take her eyes off of her.

"How long have you been standing there?" She asks her as she comes over to sit next to her on the sofa. The dog lays by their feet. She laughs.

"Maybe five minutes." She answers honestly.

"I guess I must have zoned." She pushes a stray hair behind her ear. "You hungry?" She questions. Liv shakes her head.

"Not really."

"Ok." Amanda nods in understanding. They watch T.V., both happy with the others presence and though the prospect of eventually telling Bryan of their expected child still hangs over her head, Olivia manages to relax and enjoy the younger blonde. Neither of them are aware of the newly formed delevopement in their relationship nor what could happen in the near future to bring them closer together, they only live in the new and relish in the idea that anything could happen and love can be found in the most unexpected of places.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia felt herself changing, she didn't know if it would be a good sort of change or the type that involved everything else changing too, but it was happening. The week's newest case that involved child pornographers and a mother that simply could not handle the stresses of having a child with more needs than the average 8 year old had taken a toll on her and she wanted more than anything to be comforted by nice strong arms... that would not be there. As she sat there alone in her apartment after the court case of baby doe she rested her hand protectively over her belly. _Why would no one come to claim that beautiful baby boy? _ She thought to herself wanting more than anything to partake in a nice cold beer. A quiet knock on her door brought her out of her thoughts and back to reality. She pushes her short locks behind her ear before checking the peephole.

"Amanda?" She whispers to herself...

Amanda had been out late with the tidings of last week's case still fresh in her own mind. She could only imagine what had to be going through the minds of those children as they were faced with the adult decisions they were dealt. Really she was looking for any excuse to gamble and that at this point seemed the most logical, so there she sat in some shady back alley joint, $200 in the hole and ready to go further into debt. The exact point where her addiction started was something that Amanda found hard to pin point. Could it have been her sister and all of the extra drama she tended to bring with every visit, the unfortunate memories of her job in Atlanta, or just the job here in New York? She couldn't tell as it all began to blur together and form one large out of control mass that she tried so hard to shake. The meetings helped, when she could get to them, and Fin offered his shoulder but there was something that held her back. She always felt the urge especially after a bad case. No one on her squad knew about her relapse and in all reality they weren't supposed to know about her addiction period but that all came out in a heaping mess. She needed this next hand to be good otherwise she felt a visit from another local loan shark coming on soon. As she sat there praying for some kind of luck she couldn't get her mind off of a certain brunette. _Win this for Olivia._ She thought to herself. As the house showed their cards she was relieved to see that she had won the money it would take to get her out of the hole and therefore saved her from what could be another nightmare. She happily cashed out and grabbed her coat on the way out of the door. She wraps her jacket tightly around her as the cold night air chills her to the bone. It had been a week since she last spoke to Olivia on the subject of the baby but she could tell in her friend's eyes that it was definitely getting to her. She tried to have a talk with her that day in the squad room but Olivia easily brushed away her questions which only made her want to talk to her more and before she knew it she was stopping in front of the older brunette's door.

"Hey." She says quietly as the brunettes gives her a look of surprise.

"Is everything ok?" She questions the blonde, much like she had the previous week, as she moves aside to let her in.

"I've been meaning to ask you the same." She smiles sheepishly moving further into the apartment.

"Oh." The older responds casually. "Would you like something to drink?" She asks gesturing her to sit. She shakes her head. "So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" She asks awkwardly sitting on the coffee table.

"Tonight I went and gambled away my entire pay check." She admits quietly staring at the wall behind Olivia's head. The brunette gives a puzzled look.

"Amanda I-"

"And the best excuse I can give as to why is because I clearly haven't learned from my past mistakes or almost losing my badge. I'm hurting myself." She says matter of factly.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Liv asks comfortingly.

"What could I say? It seemed like everyone had enough going on, you know with Cragen leaving, Amaro with Zara, you taking over, I didn't know what to say or when to say it."

"Why not talk to Fin?" Amanda shakes her head passively. "Manda? Talk to me, you're safe here and I won't judge you. You know that."

"You're the only one I really wanted to talk to." She concedes slowly. "Liv, there is something else I need to tell you."

"I figured as much." She responds resting her hand over the blonde's as she begins to pick at the stitches of her jeans.

"Olivia I have feelings for you." She murmurs. "I know you don't feel that same way but I feel like I need to get this off my chest otherwise it'll only start to eat at me. I don't know when it started or what happened to get me to this point but with everything going on right now I figured it would only help me get it out and it's ok if you don't feel the same way, I know you and Bryan are trying to move forward with your relationship and I don't want to make your life more complicated especially with the baby and all." She says far too quickly for the brunette to keep up with. She continues to stare at the piece of lint she spotted on the carpet beneath her feet.

"Amanda, sweetie, look at me." She starts hesitantly. Amanda looks up and blue eyes meet brown. "It's ok." She tucks away a blonde strand.

"I just want to get help." She whispers, relishing in the feeling of the brunettes hand on her cheek.

"And I want to help you but you have to get some professional help too." Olivia responds taking the blondes hand into her own.

"I'm sorry to bring all of this on you right now. I know you have a lot going on right now too."

"No don't feel that way. I'm happy you came to me." She reassures her, wiping away Amanda's tears with her thumb. "You helped me. The least I could do is repay the favor." She smiles softly as she leans into the blonde, placing her lips gently to the younger's. The kiss is soft and caring, it's not one of overwhelming lust or greediness. The kiss they have is filled with compassion and love that neither of them knew they shared.

"Wow." Amanda says not the slightest bit surprised after breaking the kiss. Olivia nods. "I should go." Amanda says quickly standing.

"Amanda wait." Olivia tries to stop her as she reaches for the door knob. She halts her movements.

"I shouldn't have done that." She says not bothering to turn around.

"I started it though." Olivia pleads not wanting her to leave. Amanda shakes her head one last time before exiting the apartment. Olivia doesn't bother chasing after her. She knows that once the blonde's mind is made up there is almost nothing that'll make her change it. She rests her head against the door and relives the simple kiss in her mind. _What about Bryan?_ Her inner voice questions. She slides down to the floor and rests against the wall by the door. _Please don't let her go do something stupid._ "YOU did something stupid." She says aloud to herself. Shaking her head.


	3. Chapter 3

As Amanda left Olivia's apartment, their kiss still lingering on her lips, she didn't know where to go. _I'm sure you have enough money in the bank to go have a little fun. _That evil little voice in her head taunted her. She shakes her head hoping it'll make it go away. _Home. Go home. _She fought against the voice. Making it to her door was a relief and a milestone all in one. She had won, for now, against the voice. The moment she lays down in her bed she pushes away any and every thought of Olivia as Franny curls up by her feet and attempts to sleep off all of her problems.

Olivia, having the same problems doesn't bother trying to sleep. She sits up all night watching reruns of M.A.S.H and hoping the young detective is home safe in her bed.

With things going slow at the station, and Fin and Amaro out on a doughnut run Amanda and Olivia are left alone in an awkward silence.

"I'm going to go get a soda out of the vending machine, Rollins do you want anything?" She asks looking around her computer to meet Amanda's eyes. She shakes her head softly. "Fair enough." She responds making the short walk into the hallway and returning a short while later. As she sits back at her desk, the awkward silence settles over them once again. "I worried about you last night." Olivia says once again breaking the silence.

"You shouldn't have." Amanda speaks to her for the first time since the previous night.

"But I did." She says opening her soda and taking a sip.

"I wanted to go gamble last night," She says regretfully "but I went straight home." Olivia nods.

"I'm glad." She comments giving her a reassuring smile.

"You ever talk to Bryan?" She asks more to remind herself rather than Olivia that she has a boyfriend. Olivia nods.

"Sort of. We texted. I didn't want to tell him the news that way but unfortunately he'll be gone for another four months." She frowns.

"Well what are you going to do?" She questions now far too distracted to finish her forms.

"I told him that I couldn't do this anymore and that when he got back we would have to figure out the living situation." _All that time and money down the drain. You couldn't even make this work for more than a year. _Her inner voice scalds her.

"Liv I am so sorry." Amanda says honestly. She brushes it off with the shake of her head.

"It was going to happen. I just wasn't sure when." She lets out a sad laugh. "The irony."

"What?" The blonde responds looking over to her. She doesn't have a chance to respond before the guys are back and things get a little more hectic when they are called to a rape on the lower East side. They share looks throughout witness interviews but they never have the chance to revisit the subject for the rest of the work day.

"Hey Liv, Rollins, Amaro and I going down to the bar to get a drink with Barba you ladies want to join us?" Fin asks standing next to Nick as they put their jackets on. The women give each other a questioning look. Fin notices. _I wonder what that was about. _He thinks witnessing the exchange.

"Umm actually I think I'm going to have to take a rain check. I have a lot of paper work I need to catch up on." Liv answers first.

"Fair enough." He shrugs. "What about you Rollins? There's a game of pool with your name on it."

"I think I'm going to pass too." She answers.

"Alright but I'm holding you to that game." He winks before following Nick out.

"Any clue what's going on with those two?" Amaro questions as they reach the sidewalk in front of the building.

"I don't know but I say whatever it is we keep out of it." He responds tucking his hands into his pockets.

Back in the squad room Olivia and Amanda are once again left on their own, by choice this time.

"Amanda we have to talk about last night."

"What is there to talk about?" She evades.

"I kissed you."

"Your hormones are raging right now I understand, it wasn't your fault."

"Amanda I did that on purpose." She responds slightly hurt that the blonde can't believe that it's possible she shares her feelings.

"You didn't. Olivia you don't have to pretend you like me out of pity. I'm a big girl I can take rejection." She responds icily, looking back down at the papers scattered on her desk.

"Why won't you let me help you?" Olivia questions finally abandoning her desk and walking over to the young detective's.

"You don't need to be worrying about me, you have a kid on its way that you should be focused on."

"And you think I can't do both?"

"Liv this can't work!" She raises her voice. "We are both too emotionally scarred for something like this and I for one don't think it's a good idea for either of us at this point to be doing whatever this is." She continues, softening her voice. "I really think we should figure out our own lives before bringing someone else in."

"I understand." Liv responds quietly.

"That doesn't mean I don't still like you." She says reaching for her hand. "We need time." The brunette nods sadly.

"Ladies?" Barba calls from the side of the room. Olivia quickly removes her hand from Amanda's.

"Barba, I thought the guys were on their way to meet you for drinks." Liv questions putting distance between her and Amanda.

"Yeah they were but unfortunately Sergeant Our victim has been attacked again. The guys are on their way to the crime scene and I assume you two will be going to the hospital to talk to the victim."

"You would be right." Amanda answers standing and pulling on her heavy coat. Liv does the same and within seconds they are both hitting the side walk and getting into Liv's car. _Were they holding hands? _ Barba thinks to himself as he follows close at their heels. _Nah. That's not possible. _He rationalizes.


	4. Chapter 4

"Kimberly, can you tell us what happened?" Amanda questions the teenage girl as they sit alone in the hospital room.

"He found me." She says quietly, holding her broken arm in her lap. "I was going up in the elevator to my apartment, it stopped on the floor before mine and there he was." She wipes away the tears as they begin to roll down her cheeks.

"She was supposed to have a uni with her at all times." Olivia responds angrily.

"Liv, they were posted outside in case someone that fit the description went in. We didn't think that he would already be in the building."

"We need to catch this guy." She says shaking her head in disgust. "Kimberly, sweetie is there anything else about this man that you can tell us to help identify him? A smell, an accent?" She shakes her head as she visibly begins to shake.

"His face was covered like the first time." She sniffs.

Back at the squad room they are trying yet again to no avail to figure out the culprit.

"This guy is pretty sure of himself if he's confident enough to hit the same girl in the same 24 hour period." Amaro says looking over the list of male tenants and maintenance workers on the board.

"Which means he's ruthless and could escalate quickly." Fin adds.

"There has to be something or someone we're missing. Clearly it's someone she had to have been in contact with before because he knows where she lives and her schedule. Former boyfriend?" Amanda responds pouring her fourth cup of coffee that night. Liv shakes her head.

"She said she didn't recognize him. A stalker maybe? Fin, Amaro what did you guys find at the crime scene?"

"Liv, this guy is a pro. Crime scene was scrubbed clean, not even the victim's prints were found." Amaro answers.

"He's done this before." She thinks aloud. "Fin run his M.O. and see if you find anything that matches. Amaro you run the men in the building and see if any of them have criminal records." She says waving them both off to go take care of their tasks. "Amanda did Kimberly make it to her aunt's ok?" She asks mentally going over more possible culprits.

"Yeah. We have two uniformed officers outside the Aunt's and one inside." She responds.

"Good." Liv nods rubbing her temples and stretching her back. She loses her balance for half a second and Amanda is quickly by her side wrapping her arm around her waist.

"Liv maybe you should call it a night, me and the guys can handle it." Amanda comments caringly, helping the brunette to a chair.

"I'm fine Rollins I just got a little nauseous." She answers putting her head between her legs.

"When was the last time you ate something?" She asks worried that the older isn't taking the right care of herself and her unborn child.

"I haven't had the chance to really eat anything." She responds, her voice muffled.

"Olivia you have to start eating on the regular, especially when you are carrying a child." Amanda scolds her, kneeling on the floor.

"Liv, I got something." Fin calls coming back into the room. "She ok?" He asks rushing to her side.

"Fine." Olivia answers before Rollins has the chance. She sits up. "You found something?" She asks seriously.

"Yeah, the neighbor has a record for public indecency and sexual harassment."

"Why didn't this come up the first time?" She asks taking the offered file.

"Looks like he changed his name, the record is from Georgia and they are all recent."

"How about we pay this guy a visit then?" She comments pulling on her jacket.

"Liv, me and Amaro will take this." Fin comments sensing something from the blonde.

"Nonsense. Amanda and I can handle this guy." She comments wrinkling her brow.

"I insist. If this is our guy he won't mind taking out a cop." He responds protectively.

"He's right Liv. I don't feel right putting you in the position. Bryan would never forgive us." Amaro adds coming into the room, his jacket already on.

"Bryan knows I'm a cop." She practically yells. Amanda takes her by the arm and leads her into a nearby interrogation room. Once inside she turns to face Amanda as she rests into the door. "What?" She questions becoming more and more ticked at their crap.

"When do you plan on telling the guys you're pregnant and when do you intend on actually acknowledging that there is an actual human growing inside of you that you should be worrying about?"

"Like I'm not doing that?" She responds offended.

"Going after a possibly dangerous perp..." She frowns. "Let me take you home Liv you've been here all day."

"I have a job to do here." She inserts.

"The guys have got this."

"Fine I'll go but only if you go with me." She responds tersely folding her arms over her chest.

"Liv?"

"You've been here just as long as I have, if not longer, I insist that if I go you do too."

"That hardly qualifies as an excuse." She answers. "And if that isn't an order then I will stay." She adds turning to leave the room.

"It's an order." She hears before she can fully leave the room. Rollins looks to the floor.

"With all respect Olivia I don't believe what you are doing here is appropriate."

"I have concerns for one of my detectives so I insist that if I leave you should too for the sake of your own physical well-being."

"Fine." She responds icily, pulling the door open and grabbing her jacket from the back of her chair before silently leaving the squad room.

"Liv everything ok?" She hears from Fin as she comes out.

"Yeah." She smiles softly. "You and Amaro take this one, it's about time for me to head in. If it leads nowhere take the day off tomorrow." She adds gathering her own things and putting on her jacket.

"You got it." Amaro answers from his desk. Both he and Fin share a confused look as she leaves as well. They wait until she is completely out of ear shot before they begin. "Why don't we just ask what's going on?" He asks standing and clipping on his badge and gun.

"Because man I'm telling you, if there is one thing I know about women it's when they have something going on with the other, the last thing you want to do is get them talking about it. They never stop." Fin answers giving Nick the head start to the elevator.

"Well what do you think it could be?" He questions as the doors to the elevator shut in front of them.

"If they want us to know, they'll say something. Until then stay out of it." He responds shaking his head.


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia sits alone in her living room curled up with a bowl of cereal on her lap and the Lifetime movie network playing on her T.V. screen. She is brought out of her thoughts when she hears a knock at the door. She easily turns off the T.V. and sets the bowl of cereal on the table by the remote. She slowly walks to the door, taking the time to check the peep hole before opening it to an unexpected face.

"Amanda?" She says questioningly.

"Hey." She responds uneasy with the bag of take-out held tightly in her arms. "You hungry?" She jokes as Olivia continues to stare confused.

"Umm, yeah." She stammers moving aside to let the blonde in. She closes the door quietly behind them and follows Amanda into the joining kitchen.

"Sorry to just show up." She says quietly moving the bag onto the kitchen counter.

"That's alright." Olivia responds hesitantly. "I actually wanted to apologize for earlier." She adds, pointing the cabinet that contains the plates as the blonde detective fumbles around unsuccessfully. She smiles.

"Liv it's ok." She responds finding the plates. "I should have minded my business, you have every right to have been upset." She counters while pulling out the food and chop sticks.

"I really shouldn't have been so harsh though. I'm just overwhelmed with this baby, and Brian, and work. I don't know where to go next."

"We are both adults and we can handle situations like these. I'm here for you, you don't have to go through this alone."

"I feel the same about you." She answers moving a little closer as Amanda puts food on each plate. "Thanks for the food. It came right on time too." She laughs rubbing her tummy.

"I'm glad. I figured I'd help you out and bring something by." She smiles handing her one of the plates and a pair of chopsticks before following the brunette into the living area. They both take a seat on the floor in front of the couch and sit their plates on the table.

"I forgot about this." Olivia smiles embarrassed as she takes the now soggy cereal into the kitchen and places the bowl into the sink. She grabs a bear and a bottle of water from the fridge before returning to the living room.

"Thanks." Amanda responds, taking the offered beer and moving over to let the older woman sit.

"I was about to watch a movie on Lifetime if you don't mind that." Liv comments turning the T.V. back on.

"Of course not. Endless cheesy movies, that's the best part of being a woman." She jokes. They laugh.

"Thanks for coming by Amanda. I really do appreciate this." Olivia says seriously, settling down with her food set in front of her.

"I was in the neighborhood and I knew you would be alone tonight. I took a shot." She shrugs.

"I appreciate it." She smiles softly. They sit in moderate silence for what seems like forever and they manage to finish one full movie with the company of each other as there only solace. They eat in silence and before long the thick chemistry between them is hard to ignore. Their hands touch as they both reach for popcorn at the same time.

"Sorry." Amanda apologizes awkwardly, taking her hand away. Liv smiles sheepishly. "It's like high school again." She jokes running her hand through her long blonde locks and stretching as their second movie reaches a dull moment.

"Why do you say that?" Liv asks, eyes fastened to the T.V.

"Skirting around each other like two 15 year olds." Olivia lets out a soft snort.

"We are adults you said it yourself, we can handle things like this."

"I'm glad you kissed me." Amanda says quietly staring at the side of the older brunettes face. Olivia tenses slightly and turns a little so that their eyes meet. "If you hadn't done that then I don't think I ever would have." She comments honestly.

"I didn't tell Brian about that. I felt like maybe it wasn't something I really wanted and then this afternoon I saw how much you really cared and I couldn't have been more wrong if I tried." She smiles a little.

"What does this mean?" Amanda asks hesitantly moving her hand to stroke the older woman's shoulder.

"Like you said we need time to heal from everything that has gone on. I want you to get help for your addiction and right now that should be your main focus. As for me I have some news to share with the guys." She responds almost sadly as she rests her hand over her tummy.

"The guys are going to be so excited." Amanda smiles trying to brighten her up. "Imagine how sweet it'll be watching Fin go head over heels for a new child, and Nick, you won't have to do anything I'm sure, he wouldn't let you out of his sight. So much attention you're in for." She jokes.

"What if something goes wrong?" She questions seriously lowering her eyes to the carpet.

"Don't think about that." Amanda answers honestly. "You are going to eat right and take your vitamins and anything else you have to, to ensure that both you and this child will stay healthy throughout this pregnancy."

"At my age there's so many risks though. What if I'm knowingly bringing a child into this world that won't have a chance?"

"Liv?" Amanda sighs moving closer. "Don't think like that. You are going to be fine. This child is going to be fine."

"I'm just saying I've wanted a child for so long and it's never happened what if this ends up being the same thing?" She questions yet again as tears begin to streak her cheeks.

"Oh, Honey." Amanda whispers pulling her into her. She strokes her hair as she silently releases her tears. "It'll all be ok, Liv. There is no need for you to worry." She assures her, squeezing her gently. "I'll be here if you need anything and the guys too." She says rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"I know, I'm just so worried." Liv mumbles into her shoulder.

"Just try to relax." She says feeling the brunette begin to pull away. "We are here for you." She says quietly locking eyes with her. Olivia nods in understanding.

"Thanks." She whispers once again. Amanda rubs her shoulder.

"No problem." She smiles kindly.


	6. Chapter 6

The bright sunlight shining through the half shut curtains pulls the young detective from her deep sleep and she shields her eyes as she manages to sit up. She looks around in wonder as she tries to piece together the happenings of the previous night and her memory finally kicks in as she spots the older detective sound asleep on the floor by the couch. She smiles.

"Liv?" She questions gently shaking her shoulder. She wakes slowly and shields her eyes in a similar fashion as Amanda.

"Why is the sun so bright?" She questions, stumbling to get to the window. Amanda laughs as she finally makes it to her destination and closes to curtains, effectively shutting out the sunlight. "Breakfast?" She questions, turning to the younger blonde.

"Yes I'm starving." She smiles stretching. Liv chuckles, making her way into the open kitchen and starting the coffee maker.

"Thanks for last night." She comments as Amanda makes her way into the kitchen behind her.

"It's no problem. I'm here for you." She nods watching the brunette search the fridge for breakfast food.

"For once this thing is actually full. I figured I have to eat on the regular now that I'm... you know." She hints. Amanda nods in understanding. "How about some French toast and fruit?" She questions over the door as the smell of coffee begins to fill the apartment.

"Sounds amazing." The blonde responds in her southern drawl, pulling a mug from the cabinet and pouring herself a cup of the steamy brown liquid. "What time do you have to be in today?" She questions cradling the mug between her hands as if her life depends on it.

"I was thinking about lunch time. The guys can hold down the fort for a while." She responds setting out the chopped fruit and ingredients for French toast.

"So how do you plan on telling them about the baby?" She questions leaning on the counter and giving the older space to work.

"I figured I'd just go straight for it. No beating around the bush." She sighs.

"Liv, it'll be fine." She smiles reassuringly. She nods.

"It will." She smiles.

A few short hours later they finally make their way to the precinct and the guys are conveniently sitting around the room, involved in their own tasks. They look up as the two women make their way into the room.

"Hey, could you guys gather around for a bit? I have something that I need to share." Liv says hesitantly as she removes her leather jacket and hangs it on the back of Amanda's chair.

"What could this be about?" Fin whispers to Amaro as they make their way over to the waiting brunette.

"I don't know but something tells me it can't be too good." He responds stopping short of the desk.

"So I got some news a few days ago and I figured I'd let you all in on it." She begins.

"Sure what's up Liv? You need something?" Fin questions. She smiles and shakes her head.

"I'm... pregnant." She says quietly looking to Amanda for support as the guys process the news.

"Well congratulations Sergeant." Finn responds first, a big grin spreading on his lips as he goes in for a hug.

"Yeah congrats Liv." Amaro adds, rubbing her shoulder.

"Thanks guys." she smiles, relieved.

"So how's Brian taking the news? I bet he can't handle the excitement." Amaro laughs.

"Actually Brian and I decided to split up." She shrugs. Amaro looks as if he could cry. She smiles. "But it's cool. It was a mutual thing and he is very happy." They all smile. Barba walks in just as she receives her last congratulation.

"What'd I miss?" He questions confused.

"I was just sharing my pregnancy news." Liv says as he makes his way over to her.

"My best wishes." He comments petting her shoulder. "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we got a lead." He adds getting back to business. "The victim's cousin may know more than he's leading on and he's starting to talk. I'm gonna need to you guys to pick him up for questioning. He may have the answers we need." He says looking to them all before giving a nod of leave.

"See how easy that was?" Amanda comments as Liv removes her jacket from her chair and places it back on her shoulders, preparing to leave. She nods.

"Thanks Rollins." She responds before following Amaro to the elevator.

As they make their drive to the torn down hood of the lower side of New York, Olivia is all but overtaken by her thoughts.

"You still with me?" Amaro questions, watching her in her thoughts.

"Huh?" She snaps looking in his direction. He laughs.

"You were just so quiet, didn't know what to think." She smiles.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"You know, I'm sorry to hear about you and Brian. I know you two were really happy together." She nods.

"Yeah." She looks into her lap.

"Glad to hear about the baby too."

"How's Zara?" She questions needing a change in subjects.

"Zara's fine. Growing more and more every day." He smiles. "I swear, if I didn't know any better I'd think she grows an inch or two a week." He chuckles.

"And how are things with Maria?"

"Things are- things are alright. We're still trying to work around her move and everything but she's finally saying more than a few words to me so that's progress." She nods in understanding.

"I'm glad to hear it." She smiles.

"Yeah. It was hard at first but I'm living with it."

"That's what you have to do." She responds easily as they finally reach their destination.

"Let's hope this guy is willing to cooperate." He chuckles, parking the car and surveying the torn down neighborhood.

"Lets go." She says getting into cop mode as they exit the car.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Authors note: Sorry for such a long wait guys. It's been rough trying to come up with more ideas to keep you interested. This chapter isn't as long as I'd like it to be but I promise the next should have a lot more. Though I have the slightest clue when it'll be up. Haha. I'm open to any new ideas or suggestions on what the next chapter should hold, writer's block is a bitch. Welp enough of my nonsense... Enjoy! :) **_

It had been ten hours since they picked up their possible perp and he still hadn't cracked under the pressure. Olivia could feel herself getting angrier and angrier as time went on and all she wanted to do was bash his skill into the hard metal table that sat between them.

"Come on Dwayne we know you know something." She says through clenched teeth. Finally feeling the effects of pregnancy as her bladder threatens to explode.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He responds in a hard New York accent.

"Oh come on, we got a witness saying they saw a man matching your description talking to a shady looking man outside your cousin's apartment last week. We did a little digging and that man has a record, spent 10 years in prison on drug charges and was suspected in human trafficking at the time. Now what would a guy like you want with a guy like that?"

"Who I associate with is my business." He responds picking a piece of lint from his shirt. "And if that's all you got, me talking with a guy with a record and bad taste in clothes, I do believe you guys should be looking somewhere else." He adds with a smirk as Olivia hears a knock on the two-way mirror. She gives him a look of disgust as she gets up from the table and makes her way to the other side of the wall.

"Liv, they found the guy he was seen with." Amanda begins. "We found him in a hotel room with a 15 year old girl and meth in his system."

"Where is he?" She asks in a stern voice.

"He's in lock up." She answers. Following the older down the hallway.

"Fantastic, I have to pee." She answers heading in the way of the bathroom. "You take care of that scum bag in there and let me know when our guy's sobered up." She says just as she makes her way to the bathroom. The blonde nods in understanding.

Ten minutes later they are leading the cousin away, finally giving in; His lawyering up also coming into play. _Man he really thinks he's something else. _Liv thinks to herself as she takes a seat at her desk. "Such an ass." She adds out loud.

"I find it funny it only took him ten hours to ask for a lawyer." Amanda smirks, stopping just inside her office door.

"He could have asked at any time but he decided to fool around." Liv answers with a deep sigh. "Gosh I hate guys like that." She adds running her fingers through her silky locks.

"You need anything?" The blonde asks caringly, watching the older begin to slouch in her chair.

"Water would be nice." She answers as blue meets brown.

"Food?" She questions turning to leave.

"Surprise me." She half smiles. It takes Amanda less than five minutes to return with a fresh bottle of water and a turkey sandwich from the deli down the street.

"That was fast." The brunette comments, taking the offered food.

"Well I kinda had a hunch so I sent one of the guys out." She smiles taking a seat in front of the dark wood desk. "How do you feel?" She asks as Liv takes the first small bite from her sandwich.

"Exhausted." She answers honestly after having swallowed.

"You should be, we've been here over ten hours." She jokes.

"Thanks Amanda." She comments seriously.

"No need for that Liv. I'm just doing what good friends do."

"And I appreciate it." She responds matter of factly. The blonde begins to blush slightly, still not used to this side of the older. "Why aren't you eating?" She questions, sensing her discomfort.

"Not really hungry I guess." She answers, her southern drawl evident.

"You should at least try to eat something." She comments taking another, larger, bite of the delicious sandwich. "Or else I'll be forced to feed it to you myself." She adds taking a sip of her water as Amanda stares in shock of her comment.

"I got something for later." She tries stuttering lightly.

"Just as long as you plan on actually eating it." She laughs enjoying the nice shade of pink on the blonde's cheeks.

"I promise I'll eat it." She smiles ruefully.

"Good." The older smiles as they share a look of familiarity. Amanda chats with the brunette as she continues to eat her first real meal of the day and when she's done she quickly whisks away the trash so that they can get back to business.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AN at the end...**_

The brunette had been up since midnight evacuating all of her stomach contents into the toilet bowl. The beginning of morning sickness starting to take over her being. Despite everything she had read in the past two weeks, it seemed that everything was all coming as a surprise. She climbed slowly back into her queen sized bed, having exhausted herself entirely and laying on her side trying to sleep the two hours she had left. Her phone buzzing on the night stand to her right changes her plans.

"Benson." She answers hoarsely, her throat raw and stinging.

"We got a vic. I need you to meet Amaro at the hospital." Amanda's southern drawl comes over the line. She groans lightly. "Everything alright?" She asks with an edge of concern.

"Yeah." She lies managing to sit back up and swinging her legs over the side. "Tell him I'll be there in 20. Don't question her until I get there." She orders, standing and pulling out a pair of loose fitting jeans.

"Got it." She answer, deciding not to question her and ending the call.

Olivia makes it to the hospital in a solid 20 minutes and meets Nick outside if the victim's hospital room.

"What we got?" She questions nursing the ginger ale she got out of the vending machine.

"The victim is 22 year old Melanie Martinez, she was attacked on her way home from work on the West side. No witnesses and she says she was unable to get a good look at the perp's face." He responds noting her slightly pale skin and her choice of beverage. "He beat her up pretty bad, they're finishing up the exam now." He comments closing his notepad. "You feeling alright Liv?" He asks against his better judgement.

"Yeah." She responds dryly, downing the rest of the soda and throwing it into a nearby recycling bin. "Let's get this over with." She sighs lightly as he opens the door to the room for her and they step inside.

"Amanda she looks a bit pale." Nick says into the mic on his IPhone. "Yeah I asked and she said she was fine." He continues, looking over his shoulder for his partner. "Alright. Hurry though." He adds disconnecting the call and walking back around the corner to the bathroom where Olivia ducked into after their interview. He could hear her dry heaving. "Liv?" He questions knocking lightly.

"I'm fine Nick." He hears her labored response.

"Just let me call a nurse." He says almost pleadingly as he stands stiffly outside the door. He hears her movement, the toilet flush, the sink, and then the hand dryer as he continues to wait. She opens the door and he takes in her clammy skin as she clutches the wall. "You really don't look too good." He states.

"One thing you don't want to do Nick is insult a woman's looks." She comments letting go and taking her first steps into the hallway. It's slow and calculated but she manages to make her way to the elevator without an issue. They stand awkwardly by the doors and they wait for the car to arrive. The bell dings on their floor and the doors open to a very nervous yet adorably comfortable looking Amanda as she runs right into the pair. "Amanda?" Liv questions as the doors to the elevator closes once again and they are left standing in the same spot.

"Nick called." She says awkwardly standing in front of the older brunette.

"I wonder why." She responds looking at him incredulously.

"I was just worried, that's all." Amanda speaks up for him.

"I don't know how many different ways to say I'm fine." She responds clearly annoyed and pushing the call button once again for the elevator.

"You don't look it." Nick responds again letting his mouth take the lead before actually thinking it over. Amanda winces as Olivia turns to him, the look of pure venom in her eyes.

"I don't need your shit Nick. The next time you feel the need to place yourself into my business, kindly do us both a favor and not." She says just in time for the elevator doors to open. She steps on and takes no time for them to get on, simply pushing the 'door close' button and looking to the ceiling, yet another wave of nausea begins to take her over.

"Do the mood swings really start this early?" Amanda asks running her fingers through her wavy blonde locks, leaning against the wall.

"When Maria was pregnant, I never spoke." He jokes. "I just brought home food and occasionally threw out a 'Babe you look fine'. I walked on eggshells for months." He continues as Amanda chuckles behind her hand. The bell on the elevator dings once again and this time they get on, riding it to the parking garage and making their way to their respective cars bidding each other a goodnight before having gotten off the elevator.

Having made it to the brunette's apartment in record time and spotting her car in her assigned parking spot, Amanda grabs the bag full of supplies for her mamma's home remedy for morning sickness. She makes her way into the building and to the familiar floor noting the calming silence at such a late hour and knocks quietly on the hard wood door. She clutches the paper bag to her chest as she waits patiently for a response. She hears movement then the sound of locks being released as the door opens and she spy's her Sergeant.

"Do you know what time it is?" She asks obviously having been asleep on the couch.

"Yep." The blonde answers pushing her way inside and placing the bag on the counter as she hears the locks being refastened.

"What's in the bag?" She asks moving into the kitchen and watching the younger search the cabinets.

"Just something that'll help with the morning sickness." She comments finding the tea kettle and filling it with water, setting it on the stove and setting the eye on high.

"Can I peek?" She asks sitting on a stool and pulling the bag towards herself. The blonde shrugs. She opens the bag to find a box of peppermint tea, a few cloves of ginger, a cheese grater, and lemon. She looks up questioningly.

"I can't tell which'll be duds so I brought out the whole cavalry." She jokes. "We are gonna start with the ginger tea. I'm gonna grate up the ginger and add about two teaspoons to the water and we let it steep for a bit then you can just sip on that. I wouldn't suggest you use it all the time though I heard it can cause some blood clotting issues but that's what the other stuff is for." She adds looking to the floor like a scared child.

"Amanda, that's really thoughtful." She smiles watching her, discomfort evident in her posture.

"I also heard that freezing Gatorade into ice cubes helps too but they were out so I figured I could get that another time." She adds finding a bowl in one of the cabinets and bringing it over. She rinses both cloves of ginger and begins to grate them as Olivia watches contently. The silence is soon broken by the whistling kettle and Amanda turns easily to remove it from the eye and pouring a substantial amount of water into the waiting mug.

"You really didn't have to do this." Olivia comments as she watches her add the recommended amount of ginger into the mug as pushing it over to her.

"It's either this, or watching you suffer." She comments nonchalantly. "What would a good friend do?" She questions leaning against the adjacent counter top.

"I certainly owe you." She smiles smelling the steamy mixture.

"Don't mention it." They share a familiar smile as they fall into a comfortable silence...

_**Author's note: Sorry guys for the wait. I have not been in any sort of writing mood nor have I honestly had the time for updating and such. Life is a true struggle and I'm learning that one day at a time. I'm glad this one came out much longer than the last... Anything you liked? (Or disliked, constructive criticism is always welcome. Just don't get mean.) Anything you'd like to see? For those of you who have stuck with me through my inconsistency, I really appreciate it. For my new readers, welcome! A new fan is always welcome. Until next time...**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's note: I'm glad this one was a pretty good length. I went into this chapter not having the slightest idea of how to continue or where to go from the last chapter so I figured I'd just build on Liv and Amanda's relationship some more and then maybe a twist or two for next chapter... whenever I get the chance to sit down and write that one. As usual, I'm open to ideas and suggestions, any constructive criticism... Reviews are welcome! Enjoy the read. :)**_

Olivia sat quietly on the rainy Sunday evening watching the water droplets streak the widow as she held the mug of the ginger mixture Amanda had introduced her to with both hands on her lap. The only thing she could seem to think about was the impending birth if her child. How on earth was she going to balance a child and the job knowing the dangers that it can hold? She knew that eventually the topic would be visited and she would then have to make a decision. She could feel the vibrations of her iPhone as it began to ring by her side and she picked it up, checking the caller ID before answering.

"Hello?" She answers, voice low, trying to shake her thoughts.

"Hey." Amanda's soft voice comes over the line.

"Hi." She smiles to herself.

"How are you feeling?" She asks. "You looked like you were feeling much better yesterday."

"I am Amanda. Thanks again for helping me."

"It's really no big deal." She could hear the smile in the blonde's voice.

"I hope Nick didn't take offense to my attitude the other day." She comments looking into the steamy liquid of the mug.

"Nah, he understands." Amanda responds dismissively. "He's been through it before." She jokes. Liv nods to herself.

"Amanda, would you like to come over for dinner?" She questions seemingly out of the blue. Shocking both herself and Amanda.

"Tonight?" The blonde questions dumbly. The brunette laughs.

"Yes, tonight." She continues smiling. "I'm making a lasagna and I'm gonna need some helping eating the thing." She adds making a mental note to actually go and buy the supplies for her impromptu dinner plans.

"I- Yeah sure, I'd love to." The blonde stammered. She could feel her face heating up even though they weren't even in the same room.

"I mean, if you're busy-"

"No." She cuts the older off. "No, I'm not busy. What do you want me to bring?" She asks shaking the fog from her mind. Liv could feel herself getting excited.

"Just bring yourself, I'll get everything else." She smiles taking a sip from her mug.

"You got it then Serg." The southern blonde responds.

It took Olivia a short 45 minutes to locate and purchase everything she needed for their dinner. She decided to leave shortly after ending the call with Amanda, 4 o'clock quickly approaching and made it back to the apartment right at five to start on the food. She assembled the lasagna... meats, sauces, spices, herbs, cheeses, and noodles cooked and placed appropriately. She set the timer on the oven and made her way to the bedroom for a shower before the blonde was to arrive at 7. After her shower, it came time to choose a dreaded outfit. She could feel her clothes becoming tighter and more uncomfortable but merely hated shopping for new ones. Forced to settle on a pair of loose fitting dress pants and a flowy deep purple button-up, she wore her hair in its natural waves just past her shoulder blades. She exited her bedroom just in time to hear a quiet knock on her door.

"Amanda." She smiled, moving aside to let the blonde enter.

"Smells good." She smiled entering the cozy apartment and removing her jacket.

"Is it still going out there?" The brunette asked casually, taking the jacket and hanging it for the blonde.

"Not as bad as it was earlier." She answers walking up to the island and taking a seat, the brunette placing a cold beer in front of her. "Thanks." She smiles taking a sip.

"So," The brunette begins awkwardly. Not really knowing where to go next. "How was your day?"

"Not bad." She answers. "I really just spent the day laying around with Frannie." She smiles. "What about yours? Have you been sick today at all?"

"I felt a little sick earlier but it went away after a while. I think that drink is actually helping." She nods. "Dinner should be ready in about half an hour."

"Sounds good." The blonde answers.

When dinners ready, they serve themselves and sit side by side at the island eating and sharing stories. Amanda of growing up in Atlanta with her mother and sister, and Liv of learning of her half-brother and learning about her biological father. They share intimate thoughts, things they had never thought of sharing with anyone, and subsequently forming a tighter bond and by the end of the night, they have settled into a quiet spat over who was better: Salt and Peppa or TLC.

"I think in a way, they were both kinda vulgar. I mean come on, the lyrics of 'Push It.' were beyond kid friendly." Liv states as they sit on opposite ends of the couch, she crossed legged and Amanda with her feet propped up on the coffee table.

"Ok, I'll give that to ya." Amanda gives, nursing her third beer of the night. She checks the time on her phone. 12:27. "Oh wow," She comments. "I hadn't realized how late it had gotten." She smiles sitting up and looking around on the floor for her shoes.

"Hey, how about you just stay?" Liv answers checking the time on her own phone.

"Really?" Amanda answers looking up.

"Yeah." She begins realizing what she's saying. "I mean, it's late and I wouldn't want you out at this time. The sofa bed is pretty comfortable." She continues.

"Ok." The younger nods.

"Ok." She smiles.


	10. Chapter 10

The rain had finally stopped and they were finally able to enjoy the cool spring air. It had been a solid month since their impromptu sleep over and the blonde had been surprised to wake the next morning to pancakes and a waiting cup of coffee, the brunette swaying slightly to something coming from the near-by speaker. They talked over breakfast and made plans for dinner the very same night, Amanda demanding to take the bill. Things were beginning to blossom in more ways than one.

It was a sunny Tuesday, the first in April, and Amanda could feel it in her chest that she wouldn't be making it out of bed. What she thought was just her allergies beginning to flare up, was quickly diagnosed as strep throat. If she wasn't mistaken it was also very contagious. She called the night before informing her partner of her absence and now, she felt like she may just die. Between the soreness in her throat and the horrible sounding cough, it was a bit touch and go in her mind.

It was just after noon and she was nursing her fourth cup of green tea with lemon when she heard a knock at the door. Not expecting any guests considering her condition, she padded slowly to the door. Noting the sting in her throat as she went. Looking through the peep hole, she was surprised to see the brunette standing there, brown take-out bag in hand and what looked to be a hospital mask covering her nose and mouth. Chuckling lightly, she opens the door.

"How you feeling?" The brunette asks standing to the side. She had just made it into her third month of pregnancy and she was beginning to show a little in her tight navy blue T-shirt and dark skinny jeans. Her hair in waves around her shoulders.

"I see the light." She jokes, coughing. The brunette's eyes fill with concern.

"I brought you pea soup." She comments holding up the bag for the blonde to inspect.

"That's sweet Liv, but you didn't have to do that. I don't wanna get you sick." The blonde tries to smile, clasping the mug in front of her chest.

"Of course I did." The older responds nudging her on the way in. She makes her way to the left to the small, but functional kitchen and sits the bag on the counter. "Point to where the bowls are and I'll give you a bit." She says sternly, turning to the blonde after removing the medium sized containers from the bag. The blonde assuming the other is for her. She points to a corner cabinet on the right of the sink directly behind the brunette. "Good girl." She winks.

"I really do appreciate it but I'd feel just awful if you were to get sick." She frowns still standing in the middle of the living room, suddenly beginning to feel self-conscious in her faded yoga pants and Atlanta PD hoodie. Hair in a messy bun.

"Hey," The brunette turns abruptly, ladle still in hand and the bowl half full on the counter. "That's why I have this." She states matter of factly, pointing to the mask with the spoon. "You have helped me so much Amanda, it's the least I could do. Now sit." She commands in a way that makes the younger feel all warm and tingly despite herself. She does as told and takes the time to wrap herself in the thick fleece blanket thrown over the arm of the couch, starting to feel chilly.

"Didn't you have to work today?" She questions shivering slightly.

"I had a doctor's appointment so I just decided to take the rest of the day off." She answers making her way over to her. Sitting the bowl on the coffee table in front of the blonde, she stands placing the back of her hand to her forehead. "You may have a fever." She comments shaking her head. "Try to eat. I'm gonna go raid your medicine cabinet." She smiles slightly as she watches the brunette make her way quietly to the back of the apartment.

It doesn't take her more than five minutes to return, hands empty and a look of confusion on her face.

"I've never seen a medicine cabinet more bare. A bottle of Tylenol with two tablets left in it and nose strips won't suffice." She shakes her head sitting on the chair across from the blonde.

"I'm sorry." She smiles, swirling the spoon around in her soup not managing to get much of the liquid down. "My throat hurts." She mumbles letting the spoon sit against the side of the bowl and resting against the back of the couch. "And my chest." She adds sniffing. "And my everything." She continues, feeling the tears threatening to spill. "I hate being sick." She mumbles.

"Hey," The brunette soothes, making her way slowly to the couch and pulling the blonde's head onto a pillow she had placed on her lap. "It'll be ok honey. I'll just make a run to the pharmacy and we'll get you all better in no time." She adds rubbing her back soothingly. The blonde pulls her legs onto the couch, curling into the fetal position.

"God I wish I could kiss you." She comments sniffling more but managing to keep the tears at bay. "I hate being sick." She groans once again. The brunette continues rubbing comforting circles in her lower back. She could see that the blondes breathing was starting to even out and become deeper as she neared sleep. "You look really sexy with that mask on too." She mumbles just as her exhaustion takes over and she melts into sleep. The brunette takes the time to admire the sleeping blonde as she sits there, mind wandering. She follows the lines and curves of her face, taking in her plush pink lips and soft blonde locks. Truth be told, she could feel herself falling harder and harder for the younger detective and no matter how hard she tried to push it back, she found herself craving the intimacy that she knew only the blonde could give. Sure they wanted to move slowly, but the tingling in her groin whenever they were near each other told her that slow definitely wasn't the answer. They had known each other long enough and the connection was there, now the only thing left was for them to make a move... which most likely wouldn't be happening for at least another two weeks to the brunettes dismay.

Removing the surgical mask, she rose quietly being careful not to wake the blonde and made her way back into the kitchen to retrieve her purse to make a quick run to the drug store before the younger woke. She would need several things and also to stop by her apartment to pack an overnight bag. She had no plans on leaving the blondes side tonight.

A short hour and a half later, she made it back to Amanda's apartment just as she began to stir from her place on the couch.

"Hi." The brunette smiles making her way into the apartment, drug store bags in hand and a small duffle bag slung over her shoulder.

"Hey." The blonde mumbles, sleep making her voice a low whisper, and her southern accent rearing its head.

"Nice nap?" She questions, sitting the plastic bags on the counter next to the still unopened second food container and searching for something in one of them.

"My head is hurting a little, but yeah I guess it was an alright nap." She smiles stretching her arms above her head.

"Good." The brunette comments pulling the mask from her purse and fixing it back over her mouth and nose then picking up the bottle of extra strength Motrin and a bottle of water from the fridge and making her way to the blonde. "I got you some more green tea, a chest rub that should help with the coughing, some throat lozenges, the Motrin of course," She jokes opening the bottle and removing the cotton, gesturing for the blonde to sit up. "And a few other things I thought you might need." She adds shaking two pills from the bottle and placing them in the younger's waiting hand.

"How much do I owe you?" She questions washing down the pills with the offered water. The brunette scoffs, picking up the forgotten soup from the coffee table and placing the dish in the sink.

"You don't owe me a thing Amanda. I just want you to get better." She nods sitting her duffle bag on the floor by the couch.

"How was the doctor's appointment?" The blonde asks feeling guilty for not asking earlier.

"It was good." The brunette answers sitting on the arm of the chair and resting her hand protectively over her belly. "We heard a very strong heartbeat so that's a good sign."

"Are you far enough along to find out what it is?" The blonde asks curiously.

"I'm not quite ready to know just yet." She responds rubbing her tummy from side to side. She seems to be lost in thought for a moment as the blonde watches her eyes become distant and empty. "You think you can try to get some food down? You're supposed to have a little something in there for the Motrin." She asks abruptly, snapping out of her trance.

"I could eat." Amanda smiles watching the brunette stand once again and make her way into the kitchen.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a cow." She comments pulling out a plate for herself and another bowl for Amanda.

What Amanda had done to deserve such a woman like the one in her kitchen at this very moment? She didn't know but felt it better not to question it out loud should it all be a dream. She still hated being sick though, that was for sure.

**Author's note: Thanks guys for bearing with me in my struggle to update on a regular basis. I have no exact writing schedule and I seem to only be doing it at the most random times so that makes my updates more sporadic. I must say, this has been a rocky time for me. I lost all inspiration and then found it, my muse is no longer a muse but more my reason to lose all hope. It's all so confusing but I do appreciate those who take the time to read and review. I like hearing your ideas as well as your satisfaction with how the story is progressing and I hope that I was able to incorporate some of the aspects that were asked of me. There were many that wanted things to go a bit faster with the two and I actually agree so I shall be working on that. In the time being, I hope you enjoyed! Reviews are welcome and as always I'm open to constructive criticism and ideas. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

Two weeks. It had been two more miserable weeks that she had to spend in her apartment. Her only outside contact being with Frannie and Olivia who would be in and out bringing her things and walking Frannie for her, still wearing that adorable mask. She didn't know anyone who could effectively pull it off as Olivia had. It was the last Friday in April and she had finally gotten the 'all clear' from a doctor. Sadly, she'd have to wait through the weekend before she could return to her beloved squad.

"How about we go see a movie?" The blonde asked a lounging Olivia on the other end of the couch.

"So eager to get out are we?" The brunette comments scratching Frannie behind the ears as she continues to read something on her phone.

"I've been stuck in this apartment for weeks now, I can't think of anything better than getting some fresh air." She comments. "Let's go to Central Park." She smiles, eyes beginning to light up. "I hear it's really beautiful this time of year." Laughing, the brunette nods.

"I think we could do that," She responds locking her phone and placing it on the coffee table in front of them. "But I can actually think of something much better than both of those ideas." She raises her eye brows.

"Like what?" She smiles watching Liv sit up and scoot closer to her.

"You're a detective," She comments walking her fingers over the blonde's thigh. "I'm sure you could figure it out." Blue meets brown and in that instant, in that single moment, you could feel them both stop breathing. Finally... the moment they have been waiting for is upon them. Pressing her lips softly to the younger's, not wanting to scare her, though at this point she doubted it would be an issue, Liv gave her the time necessary to adjust to the kiss. In a moment's notice it would turn heated and frantic, tongues dueling, clothes being removed, a confused Frannie making her way to another part of the apartment. Finally, all outer layers being shed, lace against satin, breast to breast, both out of breath and needing to break for air.

"You're more beautiful than I could have possibly imagined." The younger comments, the older on top and taking her time with her neck and shoulder. "I cannot wait to have my lips all over you."

"Me first." The brunette responds laughing while simultaneously moving further down between the blonde's spread knees. Stopping to please each breast through the sheer material before continuing downward.

_Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock._

Looking up confused, "Are you expecting someone?" Liv whispers, halting any further movement.

"No. Not that I know of." The blonde answers. "Just be quiet, maybe they'll go away." She adds wanting nothing more than the older to continue.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Her forehead resting on Amanda's lower belly, "I think you should get that." She sighs, moving to retrieve their strewn about clothing and handing Amanda her t-shirt and sweat pants. "I'll wait in the bedroom." She whispers against the blonde's lips before pecking them quickly. Amanda takes the time to admire her well defined rear end while pulling on her pants and when she finally makes it around the corner she pulls her t-shirt over her head.

_Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Coming!" She yells at the intruder, scrunching her face.

"Open up will ya!" A familiar female voice answers from the other side.

Adjusting her shirt and fixing her hair back into a pony tail, she raises onto her tippy toes to check the peep hole. "Mom?"

"So, you were just gonna leave your old mamma out here to rot were you?" She comments in her oh so thick southern drawl as Amanda opens the door to the older blonde. Favoring her father more, other than the hair, Amanda had always had the hardest time getting people to believe her relation to the very opposite woman.

"No ma'am, of course not." She tries a smile, moving aside to let her enter.

"Surprisingly, it wasn't too hard huntin' you down considering I never get so much as a Christmas card from you or your sister." She scowls.

"I'm sorry Mamma, I've just been super busy lately. You know with work and all." She adds self-consciously closing the door and gesturing toward the kitchen. "Would you like some coffee? Tea? Water?"

"Well that would be lovely." She answers sarcastically. "Water please." She watches Amanda grab a glass from the dishwasher. "I always pictured you living better than this. I guess that cop's pay doesn't get you much." She looks around the living room behind her.

"Well Mamma, it's a very satisfying job. You know I've always loved helping others." She responds filling the glass from the pitcher and returning it to the fridge. "Here ya go." She smiles placing the water in front of her mother as she makes her way over to the counter, leaning against it.

"You found yourself a man yet?" She asks over the rim of the glass. "Of course not, why would you? No man would ever want a woman as stubborn as you. Most men want a woman that knows her place." She answers her own question before taking a sip.

"Who's this?" She hears from her left. She looks up to see Olivia standing there, a fake smile plastered on her face.

"Mamma, this is Olivia." She gestures to the brunette. "Liv, this is my mamma, Judith Rollins." She gestures to the older blonde.

"It's a pleasure." Olivia comments, stepping forward and sticking her hand out to shake.

"I'm sure." She responds dryly. Taking her hand with no fervor at all. "Who is she?" She directs the question toward Amanda, ignoring the brunette's presence.

"This is my sergeant, Olivia Benson." Amanda answers, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were sleeping with her." She spits. "You've always gotten around." She smirks, looking the brunette over.

"With all due respect Mrs. Rollins, I don't believe that's any of your concern." Olivia breaks in. Instincts take over and she places her hand protectively over her still growing stomach. "Amanda, I think I should get going." She starts, looking around for her purse and keys.

"No, Liv please don't." She tries. Her voice suddenly gone. She tries to regain whatever courage and control over the situation she can muster. "Mamma I think you should leave." She blurts, looking to her feet.

"I think no such thing." The older responds with an icy edge, a deep set frown painted on her sun blotched face. "Besides, I need you to help me find your sister, I haven't heard from her in weeks. Hopefully she hasn't gone and gotten herself arrested again." She continues dismissively.

"Mamma, I haven't seen or heard from her in months. People tend to stay away after they've completely ruined your life." She answers dryly, still looking at the floor. "Now, I believe I asked you to leave..." She hints.

"I don't know how I ever gave birth to such a disgraceful child." She huffs. "Your father must be turning over in his grave." She hisses, standing and pulling her purse higher on her shoulder. "How dare you treat your mother this way?" She comments, turning to Olivia and giving her a sour look then making her way to the door, slamming it after her. Amanda stands there by the sink, completely frozen. From embarrassment or hurt at her mother's lack of care toward her feelings? It could be either.

"Amanda?" Liv asks cautiously, making her way around the island to stand in front of her.

"I'm ok Liv." She whispers still not looking up. "She's been like that all my life and I never have been able to just brush it off like my sister could. It still shocks me that she could actually be like that toward her own children."

"I'm so sorry Amanda." She answers, placing a finger under the blondes chin to pull her eyes to meet her own. "No one deserves to be treated that way and especially not by their mother."

"Make love to me?" She responds, tears threatening to spill but wanting none other than the brunette's arms holding her tired body.

Kissing her lips softly. "Are you sure?"

Nodding frantically. "Oh yeah, I couldn't be more sure." She whispers huskily. The brunette smirks.

**Author's note: I did some research and I didn't see anything about Amanda's mother and father so I just took that as an opportunity for a free for all. I hope you guys don't mind a slight cliff hanger, I do want to describe their first encounter in the next chapter I just didn't find myself in the mental space for it in this chapter... plus I want to add a few more surprises. What did you guys think about Amanda's mother? Too much? Too little? I've also been thinking about Olivia's baby... Bryan may be making a return and the girls will have a ton of questions to answer. My mind is over flowing with ideas at the moment, I'm just not sure how to get them all in... Any who! Thanks for reading. Reviews are always welcome. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

It was soft, it was tender, it was passionate, it was everything the blonde could have possibly hoped making love to the brunette would be like. She found herself is the same position she had been in before her mother had come, her hands roaming over the writhing brunette's body underneath her. She felt the slight firmness of the elder's tummy as she kissed her way down her tan body.

"What you're doing right now beautiful is perfect, but I would love to have you first." She heard the brunette comment from above her. She had to laugh. Despite herself, she laughed and it was much more than she had actually intended.

"What's so funny?" Liv commented, feeling self-conscious.

"Nothing." The blonde answered, catching her breath and making her way up to lay beside the brunette on the queen sized mattress. "Your enthusiasm. How excited you are to be here, with me." She commented running her finger over the brunette's torso.

"Well, we have been waiting a long time to get to this point." She answered catching the blonde's finger in between her own. She nodded as the brunette took her time sliding on top of her, their faces perfectly in line. "Now," the elder commented, "What do you say we get this off?" She asked as she tugged at the neckline of the younger's t-shirt. She watches her nod, a look in her eyes that the brunette can't say isn't familiar but she hasn't seen but a few times before.

A sharp pain in the elder's lower belly pulls them from the reverie of their imaginations and she moves to lay next to the blonde on the bed, her hand immediately going to the area of discomfort. The look of terror make its way across her face as she looks to the blonde the pain continuing to spread throughout her torso and lower half.

"Liv…" Amanda nods to her lower half. Red begins to cover the blonde's crisp white sheets. Making its ominous and terrifying presence known. The brunette looks down, her eyes beginning to water and her bottom lip trembling.

"Call 911." She whispers, barely able to get the words out before another sharp pain takes over her lower half.

The rain begins to fall, little puddles forming on the street below as Olivia looks from the window of her hospital room. A gloomy stillness fills the space. She feels empty, like a failure. What had she done, in all her years of saving battered children, sexually assaulted women, those that couldn't speak for themselves, to deserve such a cruel punishment of losing the life of a child? Her child? The only blood she would ever have in this world? They couldn't say much to what had happened. To what had caused the miscarriage. All she knew was that she couldn't bear to see the tiny lifeless body of her son…

They couldn't get the bleeding stopped and once it was finally under control, she had been told it was too late. That was two days ago and she had wept in Amanda's arms the whole time. The guys had come by to show their support, she opted not to see them. They had left flowers and messages, she didn't accept either. Amanda had been there every step of the way and though she felt terrible for doing it to the younger woman, she didn't know if she could have handled the current circumstances without the presence of the blonde. A light knock at the door pulls her from the dark place that her mind has made it to. She turns to find Amanda entering, two cups of coffee in hand.

"Hey." She smiles awkwardly. "All they had was decaf." She adds sitting the two cups on a nearby table. The brunette nods taking a seat in the chair next to her, her view of the rain outside remaining. "I spoke with the nurses and they said they should have your paper work done within the hour." She continues moving slowly to her side resting her hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you." The older whispers. Her voice having left her the very same night her child had.

"Hey, you know I'm here. You don't have to face this alone." She smiles watching as Olivia looks as though she may cry. She cradles her head against her torso, the older immediately wrapping her arms around her waist and beginning a quiet sob. She rocks her gently, rubbing her back and shoulders, showing her as much support and as much comfort as she could.

"He was just so small." She cries the blonde's own eyes beginning to tear. "I couldn't look at him. I couldn't even hold him." She sobs. "My god I couldn't even hold him," She gasps. "I couldn't bring myself to even hold the life that I failed."

"Liv don't do that to yourself." Amanda comments now kneeling in front of the brunette, her hands on her knees.

"He had no chance." She continues tears streaming steadily down her cheeks and snot beginning to make an appearance on her upper lip. "Why did it have to be me?" She questions, her voice giving way to her continuing sobs.

"Olivia you cannot blame yourself for this. There is no way you could have known this would happen."

"But I had been warned Amanda. I knew I was working too hard and what did I do? Work harder. I made this happen, I should have listened." The blonde was truly at a loss for words. What could she say that would help the brunette? She knew herself that the brunette had been working hard, maybe too hard, but that was Liv. She was never known to let anything slow her down, but Amanda knew that if there was anything that the detective loved more than her job, it was children and more importantly, her own. The brunette had a radiance and a love about her that gave her this thing where kids were drawn to her and she was drawn to them. Amanda didn't know why it happened, knew just as much as the brunette did, but it had been unfortunate and it had broken the detective. She could see the undeniable affect in the brunette's eyes.

"Let's get ya home." Amanda nods noticing the nurse entering the room with what she can assume is Olivia's release papers. Liv gathers herself enough to sign the papers on autopilot, the words coming too easily and surprisingly quickly. They gather her things and she follows Amanda silently to the parking garage.

The ride back to her own apartment is quiet and gloomy, the rain refusing to give up. She unlocks her door and Amanda follows her into the empty and dark apartment. She drops her bag, removes her jacket, and continues to make her way to the back of the apartment where she sits on the edge of the bed, her eyes settled on the floor.

"Liv, talk to me." Amanda pleads standing by the door.

"And say what?" She answers kicking her shoes off.

"Tell me something. What do you need? Can I get you anything?" She questions wanting nothing more than to take away her pain and go back.

"I just need to rest Amanda." She responds sitting back against her pillows and turning to her side, facing away from the blonde.

"Ok." She answers. "Do you need me to stay?" She asks hopeful.

"You should go home." She can tell the elder is crying again. She shakes her head though she knows she can't see her. She remove her jacket, the water droplets hitting the carpet and kicks her shoes off making her way over to the bed. "Amanda please leave." Her crying continues.

"No." She concedes climbing onto the bed behind the brunette. "I am not going to leave you." She adds stroking her hair and then moving in to hold her from behind. She can feel the brunette's silent shudders as she holds her for who knows how long. Once they finally subside, and Liv's breathing begins to even out, she knows that she is finally sleeping. It had been two long days and though the brunette was tired, she didn't sleep. Amanda had tried along with the nurses to make her comfortable enough to at least partake in a nap but it had been to no avail and she had subsequently gone over 48 hours with no sleep.

"Come on, eat your eggs honey." Amanda tries, placing the forgotten fork into the brunette's hand.

"I'm not really hungry Amanda." She responds. Olivia had slept through the night and well into the afternoon, Amanda right by her side and when they finally awoke breakfast, or lunch more like it, became a must. The l blonde could feel the acids in her stomach turning as she searched the elder's finely stocked refrigerator.

"Liv I'm starving and I've been eating regularly, I know you have to be." She frowns. "Just a few bites, you don't even have to eat it all." She watches as the brunette pokes the yellow pieces on her plate before finally taking a bite in her mouth. They hear a knock at the door and Amanda moves to stand as Olivia continues to eat her eggs. Peeping through the peep hole, Amanda discovers that it's Finn.

"Hey Fin." She smiles opening the door to the kind hearted detective.

"Wassup Rollins." He smiles taking her into a bear hug. How's Liv?" He asks against her ear in a low enough whisper. They break and he watches as the younger shrugs.

"She's better." She nods in her direction. "Go say hi." They make their way back over to her, cautiously.

"Hey Liv, how you feeling?" He asks, his hand on her shoulder. She nods, a half-hearted smile.

"You really wanna know?" She asks moving more food around on her plate before taking another bite.

"We miss you back at the precinct. Things aren't the same without you." He comments taking a seat on the opposite side of the table.

"I've been telling her." Amanda adds standing behind her chair. "That guy they have in there filling in may as well be a rookie if you ask me."

"The guy doesn't know what he's doing." Fin jokes. "It'll be great to have you back." He adds, a seriousness covering his face.

"Thanks Fin." Olivia comments. "I just need a little more time to process, ya know?" They meet eyes, brown to brown.

"Take your time Liv, your squad has your back." He answers, reaching for her hand across the table. Though hesitantly, she takes his, glad to have the love and the support of her only family.

**Author's note: Sooooo, I'm back. I hate to say this to you guys, but I didn't know if I'd ever finish this story…. But then I thought, I don't quit. I can't say that the timing will be any more consistent than it is now. Life has me all but begging for a break and I'm actually enjoying it… I generally write where my mood is taking me and unfortunately it took me here. I hope it wasn't in vain and that you all can possibly see why I've done what I've done. Let me know what you liked (or didn't like), I'm always open to constructive criticism. As usual, thank you guys for reading!**


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